We return to the Starburst family of jelly beans with a review of one of their slightly less conventional varieties: “Crazy Beans”.
The original Starburst Jelly Beans received a very favorable review of 27 out of 35 beans, which puts them in the top three as of this writing. Let’s see how Starburst does when things get craaaazy.
Size and shape
Like the original Starburst Jelly Beans, I find that the size of the Crazy Beans is slightly under my ideal size.
The consistency of form, however, seems to be noticeably (but not massively) worse than the originals, if my memory isn’t playing tricks on me.
Those two criticisms, coupled with the lack of a dimple, earn the Crazy Beans one bean less than the originals in this category:
3 out of 5 beans
Starburst seems to have really nailed the formula for perfect chewability. These, like the originals, are deserving of a perfect score for having a substantial shell, but not requiring a lot of effort to chew, and not sticking to the teeth too much.
5 out of 5 beans
Still a solid category for Starburst. Still a slightly high ratio of shell to insides.
4 out of 5 beans
Taste and flavor
- Razzin Watermelon
- Banana Berry Blast
- Tropical Cherry Splash
The flavors and taste are where this review starts to get more interesting (and less repetitive with the original Starburst review).
You may have been wondering, What are “Crazy Beans”, anyway? Well, according to the package, they have “2 flavors in one!” For the most part, as you can see from the flavor list, this is true. One of these things is not like the others, though. Can you spot it?
Yeah, I’m looking at you, Peach-a-Palooza. What’s your deal? You couldn’t be bothered to bring a date to this party? It’s just all peach, all the time, isn’t it? So self-centered…
That aside, most of the combos are good, with two distinguishable flavors, and the ones that draw on Starburst classics faithfully represent them. (The lemon in Grape-Ade is spot on with Starburst lemon fruit chews, for example.) The banana in Banana Berry Blast is notable for not trying too hard, compared to, say, the banana flavor of Runts or Laffy Taffy.
Razzin Watermelon is the flavor I’m most conflicted about in this bag. It actually more closely resembles a bubble gum flavor than either raspberry or watermelon. It’s tasty, but inaccurate.
Starburst Crazy Beans have some pretty interesting and unique flavors. I’d like it if a flavor or two had higher acidity, though.
7 out of 10 beans
The one-of-each test
Perhaps the ultimate test of a bag of jelly beans is how enjoyable it is to take one of each flavor and eat them all at the same time.1
The six Crazy Beans work very well together. The flavors all being very well-differentiated to begin with confers a big advantage here. They dance around each other on the tongue, giving the mouthful an overall depth of flavor that isn’t found in beans like the Mike and Ike Jelly Beans reviewed last week.
8 out of 10 beans
|Size and shape||3/5 beans|
|Taste and flavor||7/10 beans|
|One-of-each test||8/10 beans|
I said in the original Starburst Jelly Beans review that I was looking forward to trying the Crazy Beans, and I’m pleased to say that they did not disappoint. Trading a bean in size and shape for a bean in one-of-each, the two ended up with a tie scores. I continue to look forward to reviewing other varieties of Starburst beans in the future.
This test is specific to fruit flavors only. While non-fruit flavors like licorice or buttered popcorn may be welcome, they are exempt from this test. Because that’s just nasty. ↩