Claussen Pickle Flavor Jelly Beans

The day has finally arrived! Multiple people have asked me about whether I plan to review these beans or not. I’ve said in the past that I will not review beans that are meant to taste bad – e.g., Jelly Belly’s BeanBoozled line or its Harry Potter tie-in, Bertie Bott’s Every Flavour Beans – but like the Brach’s Late Night Taco Truck experiment, I don’t believe these are meant to be just a way to prank people.

Frankford is a serious candy maker that is behind the established veteran Welch’s Jelly Beans (the second review I ever wrote) and recent favorite Dunkin’ Iced Coffee Flavored Jelly Beans, and I personally love pickles, so I was excited to try this bag. However, the scuttlebut around the interwebs is that these jelly beans are not good at all. I have avoided read any in-depth reviews to prevent biasing my own take, but it’s been hard to miss the social media posts expressing revulsion.

Let’s see whether they’re right!

Size and shape

While the average size of these jelly beans is right in line with today’s most common offerings, I think that size is optimized for eating multiple beans at once. When you only have one flavor, though, what is the incentive to eat more than one at a time? I’d rather see these be about twice as big, so that having one at a time would feel like the right volume.

Consistency of both size and shape is atrocious, though. There is a huge range of both, with multiple double beans and pointy protrusions in this petite package.

Further on the matter of shape – these are neither bean-like nor pickle-like. Most of them are a sort of squat trapezoidal shape, with dimples placed curiously on one of the larger two sides, rather than what you would call the top or bottom.

We’re not off to a great start here.

1 out of 5 beans

Chewability

These average bean in this set chews just fine, perhaps just a tad soft. There is a small subset that requires significantly more effort to chew, though.

4 out of 5 beans

Texture

For an average jelly bean, the texture of these is okay, but I think that a jelly bean inspired by pickles would actually benefit from the wild crunchiness I came across in yesterday’s Forrelli review. It could actually evoke that snap you get when you bite into a perfect pickle. Instead, the shell of these is a bit thin and powdery, and the insides could be smoother, but it’s not horrible.

3 out of 5 beans

Taste and flavor

And here is where it becomes clear that the Internet is correct:

They’re terrible.

It doesn’t say it explicitly, but I think one has to assume that the intent is for these to be taken as dill pickle jelly beans, specifically – I think that is sort of the default pickle most people think of when the only word used is “pickle” – and there is indeed a hint of dill there. And I don’t mind that they are sweet; unlike some of the flavors in the aforementioned Brach’s taco truck fiasco, many pickles do have a sweet note. But what is the one defining feature of every pickle you’ve eaten in your life? The answer is vinegar, and there is none of that to be found here at all.

The result is just a boring sugary sweetness with a light essence of dill. When there’s only one flavor in the bag, it better be a good one, and this just ain’t it.

2 out of 10 beans

Conclusion

I can’t say I’m surprised that these ended up being bad, but as an avid pickle enthusiast, I am definitely disappointed.

Join us tomorrow for the season finale, where we’ll take a look at this year’s special edition release from Brach’s company!