Sorry for the two week gap during the season. If you follow me on Twitter, you may have seen that I’m not super excited to be writing this review, and when I’m not enjoying the beans, it’s easy to procrastinate writing the review.
I will also state up front that Laffy Taffy has never been one of my favorite candies in its original form, so I came into this with low expectations. That may be unfairly biasing this review, but I will do my best to make it as objective as possible.
One other mildly amusing thing to note before we begin: I can’t figure out why Laffy Taffy felt the need to include the word “flavored” on their packaging. Isn’t that obviously implied?
Size and shape
To keep myself sane and this review mercifully short, I’ll just bullet-point this:
- Too small overall, with some bad outliers in size
- Too flat in overall shape; surfaces aren’t very smooth
- No dimple
- Too many double beans
- No redeeming qualities in this category
0 out of 5 beans
The smaller size contributes positively to chewability, but that’s mainly a benefit because it’s overcoming the overly stiff and thick shell.
Could be worse.
2 out of 5 beans
Once bitten into, the texture reveals itself to be the one quality of these jelly beans that stands out positively. (Not that that’s saying a whole lot.) The shell breaks down very smoothly, resulting in a creaminess that is reminiscent of the current reigning champ, SweeTarts Jelly Beans.
The insides are a little on the light side, and they do develop into a sort of cheap bubble-gum like consistency after a little bit of chewing, which isn’t all that pleasant.
Still, a good category for the Laffy Taffy beans.
3 out of 5 beans
Taste and flavor
While I applaud Laffy Taffy for faithfully the core flavors that their original taffy is known for, it’s a shame those flavors don’t actually taste good. The banana, in particular, is very accurate to my memory of banana Laffy Taffy. It just happens to be a terrible flavor, as most artificial bananas are. As noted in the previous review, Starburst Crazy Beans offer a good example of a banana flavor.
Another bone to pick: the green apple in traditional Laffy Taffy is actually sour apple. Why make it a not-sour apple in the jelly beans? At least one flavor in this bag could use that pop. All of the flavors are rather bland, in general.
3 out of 10 beans
The one-of-each test
Perhaps the ultimate test of a bag of jelly beans is how enjoyable it is to take one of each flavor and eat them all at the same time.1
Despite the thick shells, it’s fairly easy to eat four of these jelly beans, given their petite size. The blandness of the individual flavors causes the combined taste to be even more boring, though. It quickly becomes impossible to pick out any single flavor. The banana seems to take over, actually. That’s the main impression I’m left with when swallowing.
3 out of 10 beans
|Size and shape||0/5 beans|
|Taste and flavor||3/10 beans|
|One-of-each test||3/10 beans|
On to something hopefully tastier for the next review!
This test is specific to fruit flavors only. While non-fruit flavors like licorice or buttered popcorn may be welcome, they are exempt from this test. Because that’s just nasty. ↩